WILLIAM SHATNER IS MY @#$%in Hero!!!

     Actually, that is not true.  Since I got your attention, I like to review Shatner’s autobiography, Up Until Now: The Autobiography.  Certainly it is not a movie, but since it is about a movie star I’m not breaking any rules on this movie blog.

     Some have been lucky enough to see the many faces of Shatner- from stage actor to sci-fi icon, to hammy actor, to Emmy award winning hammy actor. Oh, and let’s not forget the spokesman for Priceline.com 

        Autobiographies always offered readers the advantage of enjoying the many facets of one’s life and  from the point of view of that very person himself, in addition to discovering something you may have otherwise not known about the subject at all. You get both in Up Until Now.

         The following are things I have not known about Shatner until reading this book:

          1) Shatner was the star of 1965 movie, Incubus. That is not fascinating in and of itself. However, this is: Incubus was the only movie done entirely of Esperanto, an artificial language constructed in the 1800′s.

        2) Shatner loves horses. Many of you might reply, “duh” but Shatner does not seem to be the type to ride and raise horses.

        3) Shatner has a business degree. Can you believe that? Imagine him saying “Pleassssee. You must. Calculate your traveling the expenses by the… Utilization of the accrual method. And don’t forget to go on priceline.com. ” ( I kid because I love). But  perhaps since Shatner obtained the degree from a Canadian University or because he obtained it in the 1950′s, he officially has a “commerce” degree.

     4) Shatner did most of his stunts on T.J. Hooker. With lawsuits and liability insurance, do you really think someone can do that today?

     5) He says Star Trek positively changed his life. 

       Yes, Shatner mentions about Star Trek. He even gives Trekkies like me inside info as the first unofficial Star Trek convention( Newark Library, 1969) and the official one( New York 1972, three years before Shatner first convention appearence. And did you know that the first Spock fan club was established before the first Star Trek fan club? Set you phasers to Wow.

       The highlight of this book is Shatner’s unconventional style. There are times in the book where he “pauses” to go online to his website or make an antidote, which at first seems to have nothing to do with his previous point; but it does. In the first chapter alone, Shatner goes on a tangent about how it was to write the first chapter of the book.

     Overall, it was an enjoyable, funny reading. It was one of the few books, which I felt the intense tone of the entire narrative- a feet usually made in literary classics.  With the exception of the a few serious moments, Up Until Nowis funny from cover to cover. If this book does not make you a converted Shatner fan, nothing will.

The Matador: A Review

It’s like Pierce Bronson like you never seen him before. Such is a trite way of beginning this review, but it is the truth.

  He’s a hitman who trots around the globe, finishing assignments by fiinish lives.  Not only he  does he travels to exotic locations but he also has wild, mind-blowing sex with even more extoic looking women. What is there not to love about his uninhibited life?

  Oh, and he is also having a nervous breakdown.

    The same is true about Greg Kanneir. He plays a traveling salesman who not only has been laid ooff but also physically lost part of his house during a turbulent rain storm.Similar to Bronson’s numerous one-night hump sessions, the only thing going for Kanneir’s character is his supporting wife.

   Such is the set up for the funny but poigiant “The Matador,” a bromance about two midlife crises meeting each other and find blanance in an unlikely friendship.

    It is always ironic how movies like this one are about people in midlife crisises. For those who lived long enough without obtaining facial wrinkles,  human dred, unlike voting that supposed to buttress it, does not have a minumum age requirement. In that way, the Matador is univesal.

   It brings to the 2nd inrony in the film. The movie is also about the wife. She lost something more subtantial than a wild lifestyle or a fleeting comission-only career: She lost a child in an accident. Indeed Kanneir’s character also shares the lost, but it seems that since all children come from the the tradgedy is more personal for the mother; she, after all, lost something that was a literal part of herself.

   And yet, despite the dreaded set up, the movie is pretty funny in its own offbeat way. Most impressive is the subtlety of the jokes amplified by context.  Growing a moustache like your new best friend is not funny in itself, and yet, it makes you laugh simply because it makes sense.  Who has not adapted to the likes of those around them?

  Don’t get me wrong: psychoanalysing the characters is not the only enjoyment offered in “the Matador.” Some might complain that for a movie about a hitman there are no edgy action sequences. But who cares? It was scary enough seeing Bronson cry.  Ugh.

Evil Dead: A Review

 ”What movies I like? I enjoy horror movies with vaampiirrres, zooombies, and all that stuff. You like scary movies?

   “Not as much as I used to. I much rather enjoy being enlightened than scared.“

     The following was a dialogue from my last date which became horrible. She ended up being eaten by Zombies who had a craving for stuck up bitches. But I digress.

   I thought about that exchange when renting the cult classic, “Evil Dead.” The horror/comedy hybrid has been more to my liking, especially this time of year when the Halloween merchandise is already on the shelves.  

   A synopsis in this case is not necessary. You don’t need psychic abilities nor creative writing skills to figure out the plot outline but here’s one anyway:

 Basically, Bruce Campbell, his long chin and buddies go out to the woods for a weekend of good times and yes, some old fashioned whoopie making.  

   While the fellas go down stairs to investigate some creepy cacophony(that is a big word for “noise”), an ancient book is found. Like in all movies of its kind, it is written in an archaic language and reading it aloud in English is a very big no-no.

   Of course in movies of its kind, so breaks the rule. In this movie’s case, however, it is a tape recording of a scholar- one who visited the cabin in the during pre-television days or long ago in other words.

   That is the setup. The rest is up to you to find out.

    “Evil Dead” is one of the first movies of its kind. It makes you laugh one moment and then scares the crap out of you the next. In my case, I laughed and was scared at the same time, an emotional combo in which I never experienced previously.

   Never in my life did a blood spewing crotch seem so hilarious. But I digress.

       The horror genre is one that always took itself way to seriously. Sometimes the scares in similar gore fest are two fold: You are either scared from what you see on the screen or you are scared of the consequences if you just scoff at the spooky effects;just imagine Wes Craven chasing you with the ax and all because you laughed at the lame double-digit Freddy Krugger sequel . This movie is not the case, because it does not take itself seriously and most of all, it counters today’s torture porn that has mistaken as spooky Halloween fare among moviegoers.

   A movie like “Evil Dead” does not take itself seriously. Hmmm. Maybe with today’s real life scares, we should all be able to relax. Life is too short to live in fear even for two hours. After all, it was James Thurber who once said that humor is pain in retrospect. It only leads to one question: Who the hell is James Thurber?