Life is up to you

July 8, 2008

Cheesy Movies… Aw, Not Again.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 5:42 pm

  True Believer:  It is evident from start to finish that James Woods wanted an Oscar for this role, just as much as his character wanted his innocent client to get out of jail.  Woods’ character is vain, funny, loquacious, intelligent, sleazy, and more hammy than an family easter dinner; most of all, he displays these characteristics without looking like a complete psycho. 

     Okay, so he appears just a little psychotic.

     And for an extra method acting touch, there was that lame pony tail. Evidently, Woods trying to look like a American Revolutionary. Do you see the connection, fellow movie-going intellectuals?

     There were even cheesy lines like “I believe you are innocent, even if you forgot.” My favorite one was this: “Is cocaine so demonic and addictive to destroy the Constitution of the United States?”

      But despite such things, the movie reminds us all the seductive allure of faith- faith in a system, faith in your fellow person, and even faith in yourself.  Try to think about that while munching on the microwave popcorn.

July 3, 2008

Cheesey Movies Part II.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 5:30 pm

 4. Young Frankenstein.  On the DVD extras, Gene Wilder makes the outrageous claim that this movie embodies the same artistic themes as the very movie it parodies. 

       I disagree. True, this movie is about tolerance of all human beings (alive or otherwise) and perhaps even about the limitations of science. However, this movie only tackles the topics on a minor level. Besides, that not why you see this movie.

   You see this movie to watch Teri Garr offer Dr. Frankenstein to join her in a “roll, roll, roll de-hayyyyyyy.”

   You watch to see I-gor move his hump around.

   You watch to why Frankenstein’s fiancee is singing in operatic tones.

  You watch to The Blind Man(guess who) pour soup on the Creature crotch before planning to make espresso.

   Do I need to say more?

July 2, 2008

My Favorite Cheesey Movies of All Time

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 7:13 pm

    The following are the movies which I, an educated movie buff, am suppose to waive off with dismissive hands. These movies are not necessarily concerned with expressing their views about the World’s socioeconomic problems. Ditto for the philosophical discourses that have made the examined life worth living. The screenwriters probably never heard of the term, “allegory.” For that matter, they probably never heard of Felini much less seen one of this films.

  And yet, these movies are likable-just gosh darn likable.  You cannot help but watch these movies in endless repetitions and enjoy them despite their obvious flaws.

  5. Bubba HoTep.  After watching this film, I dare you all to not talk about it during the next summer barbeque.

      The movie is about Elvis- the real Elvis. He is stuck in a Texas nursing home and wants to make a comeback. He cannot do so since signing a contract, waiving his entire identity and estate to an Elvis impersonator. Not only did the pill-popping impersonator die in a bathtub lying overdose, but the contract was burned in an accidental fire. Before meeting his best friend, it sucked to be the real king.

    That best friend was an African American resident… Who claims to be the Real John F. Kennedy. As it turns out, he lost the desire for public service after sharp criticism for the Cuban Missile Crisis and trying to cover up his affair with Marilyn Monroe.

   Both Elvis and JFK noticed that more residents are dying by the day. Indeed there are in a nursing home, but both agree that the death rate is nonetheless too high.  

   Then they read about Hotep, an ancient Egyptian monster who sucks souls. As it turns out, Hotep and his demonic cronies have a penchant for the old timers. That is because they have smaller souls and thus, there are more easy to digest.  

      JFK and Elvis are determined to save their little community and rediscover themselves. After all, one of them did write the Pulitzer prize winning classic, “Profiles in Courage.” 

 

May 21, 2008

The Worst Movie Lines Of All Time III

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 3:57 pm

AND FOR THE #1 WORST MOVIE LINE OF ALL TIME.

   “I Know I’m a good dancer.”  Showgirls.  As embarrassing for me and anyone who was alive back then, I must admit I actually saw this  crap.

     The line was intended to be a reflection of self-confidence. Elizabeth Berkley’s character was declaring that not only did she know she was a good dancer, but also she was a decent human being as well.

  So much for good intentions, however. It only made her sound like a no talent whore- the very thing she was trying to prove that she wasn’t. 

May 20, 2008

Worst Movies Lines of all Time pt. 2: Commonsense Strikes Again.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 5:12 pm

5) “Allllllllrighty-thennnnnnnn.” Ace Ventura I and II.   Although I enjoyed both movies and find them to be classics in their own rights, this popular line quickly plunged into mediocrity. Anyone who grew up in the 90’s knew that one idiot who yelled out this line ad nauseum. During the first 500 times you may have laughed. During the last 500 times- well, that was different, was it not? 

4) “Black Sperm of Vengeance.” Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.  I may know the essence of Zeno’s paradox more than I know what this line means. Hell, compared to this cheesy piece of wannabe Shakespeare dialogue, I’m an expert in quantum mechanics. 

    Anyway, I think its a Moby Dick reference.  This movie was made during the 60’s, you could not be considered cool without adding a Freudian reference in the mix.

    Believe it or not, Roger Ebert cowrote the screenplay.  

3) “Sexy Time”  Borat.  Like with “ALLL-righty-then,” many people spewed out this line, thinking they were as funny as the source material but nonetheless discovering otherwise.

   To be Continued…..

2) Tota-llllllly. Valley Girl.  This line only invokes deep meaning among the insipid portion of this country’s population. Just consider the following: this movie came from the same decade that canceled out the ERA( yes, it was proposed in 1972, but it was terminated 10 years later.). 

    TO BE CONTINUED…..

May 16, 2008

A Minor Debate.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 6:27 pm

  Today, I was talking to a friend of mine about my life’s ups and downs; as of this moment, it is  more the later than the former. My friend did not blurt out that there is a god and I should worship his god-head accordingly. Instead, he told me to not worry so much because there is ” a cosmic intelligence” out there that will teach me the meaning of it all. 

   Like politicians, theists are masters at the art of rhetoric. Despite his intention, my friend meant to say that life is “complex.”  Furthermore, my friend implied that  since the universe we inhabit is too difficult to decipher, then there must be an “intelligent designer-” a deified Steven Spielberg who writes, directs, and produces the ultimate existential blockbuster that is life.  There is a god, in other words. I respectfully disagree.

      Indeed for a parental-like god  to exist, life must be what intelligent design proponents call “irreducibly complex”  If you followed the PA intelligent design trial back in 2005, you will be familiar with the term. If not let me briefly explain: IC means that in order to any one thing to function, all of its parts must work in harmony with one another and that’s it- there is no room for defects. If one spring pops up, not only the Thing is no more, but the Designer holding it together ceases to be; this is because in order for the Designer to be existent, in most fill in the gaps. 

  Such careless dearth of logic is consistent with modern Judeo-CChristian theology. For example, mankind would be  entirely damned if Jesus was not the messiah and did not die for our sins.   

    Under such do-or-die rules many things we take for granted  woud exist, paradoxly enough, in an  ontological purgatory- floating in the abyss between the real and imaginary. The Human Eye is an excellent example and Richard Dawkins give a great illustration of it in his book,  The Blind Watchmaker.  But  since you took the trouble to read this post, allow me to give my own illustration in the next paragraph.

       The human eye is composed of various parts and indeed various complexities too exhaustive to full explain here. However, let’s examine the basic anatomic outline. There’s the scelera, the pupil, the iris, the lens, and the retina. According to intelligent design, all of these parts (and those not mentioned here) are all supposed to work in synchronization.

       Anyone who has a grandparents is aware that is not the case. Cataracts, according to the American Optometric Association, develops when ” clouding of the lens” parciptates ”changes in the proteins and lens fibers.” And yet, contrary to ID, a pair of cataract eyes still work; the eyes are blurry, but the inflicted viewer can still see(although he should get surgery).  Even if the surgery is only 80% successful, the viewer can still see; that is because the parts of his eyes are adapting to change. Such is evidence, if only a minor one, of human evolution. That’s right- that evil monkey theory does explain why we can see after moderate eye surgery, not die when having the flu, and still retain brain cells after a wild weekend in Las Vegas. Go figure.

   But intelligent design goes further.  There is an implication that things that are not “irreducibly complex” should perceived as evil. For far too long, sexuality was deemed as IC. As man, you fell in love with a woman(preferably a virgin), married her and had kids. Then you got the job in order to take care of your family.  Since you made money from doing well at your job, you gave your wife spending money and thus boosting the economy. It also did not help to be a member of a church.

   Even before the 1960’s, sexuality was never that tightly defined. Even in the bible, there are patriarchs who are made to multiple women or have a lover on the side, without fear of devine impunity. The first sex-change operation was in 1959. Yet, those who did not conform to the dominant sexual life style were either imprisoned, considered mentally ill, or were killed. Why? It was because homosexuality proved to IC proponent that a man can function as a healthy, lawful human being without being attracted to women. Of course back then, IC proponents were called “creationists.”

     So there you have it. No matter what changes occur in your life or society as a whole, we can all adapt. Maybe we would not have “the Answer” to guide us, but we will adapt- ”we will get by” to quote a Grateful Dead lyric. And for those who insist that cannot smile without a “cosmic intelligence”, just consider the following: We, like the stars above, are composed of atoms.           

May 15, 2008

Great Things about Being a Buddhist Monk.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 5:35 pm
  •  No More Bad Hair days.  When  becoming Buddhist monk, not only are you emancipated from the cycle of life but you are also liberated from bed-head, split ends, and materialistically greedy flakes of dandruff.
  •  No family. Tired of that wife, nagging you to ”be a man” and just fix the damn toilet? Tired of your children crying their way to get a cell phone from you? Fed up with your in-laws? No problem.  Once you give up making whoppie, all that nonsense will vannish from your future.
  • No Whoppie. Okay, not having intercourse does have its drawbacks that need no mentioning here. However, consider this point: Now, you can be yourself for a change.
  • You can still have chocolate. That’s right. the Dali Lama may show resistance to tyrant Chinese militant forces, but they’re no match for chocolate. According to buddhanet.net , you are not allowed to accept an X-box, but as long as the chocolate is nondairy,  you’re headed for some delicious karma. Once that is established, you will be going from “oommmm” to “mmmmmmm”
  • You get to wear awesome looking robes. With robes and sashes, all splashed in vivid colors, who needs ”Queer Eye For the Straight Guy?”
  • Peace and Quiet.  There will be no more noise, no more annoying cell phone calls, no loud parties next door, or the like. Instead, a Buddhist monk only hears the euphonious melody of one hand clapping.  Groovy!
  • Enlightenment. Do I need to say more?   

May 6, 2008

Worst Movies Lines of All Time.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 4:34 pm

   The title is self-explanatory so let’s proceed.

   10) “Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn!!!!!! Stark II: The Wrath Of Khan    As a Trekkie, it is disappointing that I must put this line on the list. I understand its intended significance; Khan is so evil that even good ol’ Admiral Kirk(he was promoted in this movie) cannot keep his coo. Nonetheless, it is accidentally comical. It is right up there with “Jet-Sooooooooonnnnnnnn.”

9)  “ Just do what I do… I snort Zoloft.” Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay.  Do I really need to elaborate?

8)  “Its tomato juice.” Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. That’s right, officers and members of the press. It is not blood that is dangling from the victim’s mouth. It is tomato juice. Watch what you put on your pasta. veigh! 

 7) “You’re stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.”  Plan 9 From Outer Space.  Poor Ed Wood. Was he able to get anything right? Perhaps not, as far as dialogue is concerned. Here, an alien is trying to preach about humans misuse of atomic energy and how it was destroying their planet. Never mind that I’m pretty sure resurrecting corpses causes some environmental damage to any planet.

6) I’m too old for this shitLethal Weapon II(?) Then why don’t you just retire? And just because your partner gets into trouble doesn’t mean you have to follow him on your last day on the job. I’m sure the chief cam find a replacement for the mullet-haired Vietnam vet(never mind that he cannot conceal his Australian accent). Sigh. Okay, I made my point.

   To be Continued…..

 

May 5, 2008

Has Larry Kane Gone Senile?

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 5:06 pm

    I hope there is ansswer is “no.” Overall, Larry Kane is a rarity- more rare than an honest politican and ever more rare than all the rare metals listed on the periodic table. His professionalism and intergrity has been an element of a much neglected era, in which the news was a public service and not a soul-sucking ratings pirate. 

  That was until last night.

  In a segment called “Spring Fever,”  Kane invited two relationship “experts.”  The proported experts were a life coach and Dr Z, the Penthouse Pet of the Year (2004). Keep in mind that Kane’s show is called “the Voice of Reason.”

     That’s right; who knows more about intimate, emotionally responsible comittments more than a Penthouse whor-I mean, Pet?  Supposedly, Dr. Z has a PhD, however, for which field was a topic left unexplored.  

  This is slippery slope, pardon the cliche. The last thing I want to see Larry Kane do is the folowwing:

  •          Invite Keith Ricards as a health consultant.
  •          Invite a professional gambler as a credit counselor
  •          Invite Clearthinker42 as a theologian

       Should I go on some more?

    I hope this was just a slip up. Kane is one of the last great journalists out there. Hell, he not only made John Lennon(that is the I-only-want-to-be-with-my-family Lennon) comfortible but allowed him to do the local weather for one night back in 1977. Isn’t that worthy of a pulitzer or two?  

  

 

A New Look.

Filed under: Uncategorized — clearthinker42 @ 4:43 pm

  I gave this blog here a new look or a “makeover” in pop-culture-speak. My first choice showed an astronaut- one who either became possessed by a space alien or someone in need of gravity friendly java. At the last moment, I thought it looked too pretentious and eye-soring. What you see in something less eye candy but more readable.

    What do you think, Bloggers of the World?  

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